Picking up “Feel the fear and do it anyway”

no complaints

Sometimes, I set my toolbox in the back of the closet and shut the door. I don’t notice right away. I start to feel less good about myself. I start to feel lesser.

Recently I realized, even after an intensive course in Coaching and a lifetime of establishing ways to feel good about myself, I had taken a break from using them.

Then I picked up an old favorite from my bookshelf by Dr.Susan Jeffers.  Actually it was suggested reading from our coaching teacher. One of the things she recommends early in the book. (I’ll admit, at this stage I was skimming) is to go a week without complaining or criticizing. I decided to give it a try.

Holy cow, do I find all sorts of devious ways to share my discomforts. I have to keep starting over as I’m not sure I’ve had a successful day yet. So, now she’s got my attention. 

Susan Jeffers talks about Pollyanna and the negative connotations of the term. I think, if positivity is forced versus being genuine, it falls flat. But a genuinely positive approach, even in the face of high pressure, can disarm and change the course of things. 

I read this book back In The 90’s. It was the first of many eye openers. I had forgotten it in favor of some I had read more recently. 

“When you can answer all your “what-if”’s with “I can handle it”….the fear disappears.” I love this quote. I never realized how much it influenced me or where I got this notion from. No matter what faces me, I know that whatever happens, I can handle it. It’s that simple. And it’s a question I am always answering to myself. I’ve lived through death and back pain and family strife and depression and a tsunami to name a few unexpected, unwelcome life moments. Whatever is coming next, I’ll figure it out. 

Sometimes when someone is worrying to me, I ask them “what’s the worst case scenario?” Now, I have lots of tools involving positivity and visualizing success. Why would I want to do that? Well, here’s how it works for me. I picture what seems like the worst outcome. If I can see it briefly in my head, my brain starts to work on solving the problem. So, I know even in the worst case scenario I’ll be ok.  Perhaps my definition of ok is knowing I can handle it.

Well, I’m only on chapter 7, so I am guessing there will be a follow up to this blog! Stay tuned.