Work Life Balance

Making things happen


My gift, my superpower, has always been the capability to make things happen. At 17, I wanted to live in New York City. At 20, I decided I was going to France. At 26, I joined IBM as a temporary secretary, convinced I would do more. At 42, I decided I was going to be an executive. And I did all those things and more. The truth however is, it’s not really a superpower. Making things happen is something everyone can do.

Believe in yourself

All my life, people have told me what I could and couldn’t do. And I have ignored them copiously. Each person has a unique perspective on the world. Some are narrow and constrained, others are broad and wide open. Alas and hallelujah, what you believe directly impacts what you are capable of. What I believe is that anything is possible if you are willing to pay the price. Emerson said “What will you have? quoth God : pay for it and take it.” Step one is to simply believe this is true.

Dream big

A direct extension of believing in yourself is the ability to dream big. To dream big, you have to let go of all the endless permutations of destiny which could lead to failure. Some dreams never take off because we squash them with doubts and imagined barriers. We tell ourselves “I can’t do that” and that’s the end of that, we don’t even allow ourselves to dream it. Imagine, just for a moment, that you CAN do that. Imagine yourself doing it – how you would feel, how it would change your life. Bask in that feeling for a moment.

Decide, with confidence, you’re going to do it

At some point, you need to decide that you are going to do this. Weighing the pros and cons, the potential hurdles, the unknowns becomes useless at some point. You will never know everything that stands between you and your dream. You have to start. If your heart is all in, if you’re ready to pay the price, whatever it is, it’s time to just decide. You’re going to do it.

Tell people

Now, don’t be shy, tell people about your decision. Your family, your friends, even strangers you meet along the way. Sharing your dream and intentions serves two purposes. The first is creating accountability. By tell others your intentions, you bolster your own intentions about the decision and create accountability. Turning back will require telling people you changed your mind. There’s nothing wrong with changing your mind, but we feel more inclined to deliver on promises and can be more motivated to make them happen. The second purpose is that sharing your dream and goal can open doors you never thought possible.  Every person you meet is a potential ally, may be the keeper of a key you can’t see or know about until it has unlocked a door.

Keep your eyes and ears open

The world conspires with you when you are paying attention. No matter what you are paying attention to. It never fails to amaze me that when I have made an important decision, I start noticing possibilities all around me. When I decided to go to France, I got a school newsletter that announced a scholarship for international studies the very same day. The day before, I might have received the very same newsletter and not noticed the scholarship. Possibilities ARE everywhere. We just aren’t always paying attention for them.

Take action - Think, plan, do, adjust

Build a plan. Reaching big dreams can take time, and there can be major milestones along the way which have to be met. Think about the steps you need to take to be successful. Plan them out and start doing them. Don’t be surprised that once you start doing things, your plan may change. Frankly, once you start doing things and taking steps towards your dream, even your dream and your ultimate vision can change. That’s ok. Think, plan, do and adjust. Repeat again and again and again.

Accept that sometimes you will fail

There are many pathways to take to get to any final destination. Some of the roads you go down will be dead ends. Things will not turn out the way you hoped or planned. And that’s ok. Learn from these things and store the lessons away to serve you the rest of your life. We learn more from our mistakes than our successes, so embrace it. Backtrack and pick a new path and continue along the way.


In long journeys, there are many defeats and victories. No accomplishment along the way is too small to celebrate. Take a moment when you achieve a step in the right direction to recognize the effort it took you to get that far. Do a happy dance. Give yourself a pat on the back. For major milestones, treat yourself and invite others to celebrate with you.

My dream today is this blog, this new coaching and training business, this new direction in life which sometimes seems like it is taking off and others seems like it is stuck down in the mud. But I know I will find a way. I am finding it every day.

IT : a high stress industry

When we think about high stress industries, we think about policemen, firemen, first responders, nurses and doctors to name a few. It’s clear that these people are confronted with violence, pain and danger on a regular basis. So when we hear that IT is a high stress industry, it can be hard for some to make the jump. No danger, no pain, no violence – no big deal, right?

The elusive dream – work life balance

The infamous, ephemeral work life balance.  Family.  Career.  Success.  Personal Fulfillment. Is it really possible to “have it all”? I think so.   But I also think it’s a life’s work. Work/life balance may seem impossible to maintain at certain points in life.  When you get married. When your children are very small.  When you just got that promotion. When you are in survival mode.