Think back to some of the most heated arguments you have had or witnessed. What was being discussed? Politics and religion are often at the foundation of some of the most virulent arguments I have seen. How often during these arguments does anyone acknowledge the difference between fact and opinion?
Negative thinking patterns and negative beliefs can significantly impact our state of mind and well-being. If you are often angry, frustrated or stressed, there’s a high probability that you have some negative thinking patterns and core beliefs you can address.
If you are sick and tired of being stressed and frustrated, it may be time to take a look at how negative thinking patterns are impacting you. Many things in our lives are out of our span of control. But your thoughts are within your control. We sap our energy and enthusiasm daily with these negative thinking patterns. Let’s look at a few of the most common negative thinking patterns and how to quickly break them.
Most of us have a little voice in our heads. The frequency with which is fills our ear is different from person to person. But for many people it is a relentless tide we’ll call the chatterbox. Maybe that voice is just a running commentary of what’s going around us. Often, however, it is whispering (or shouting!) negative thoughts in our ear.
Has anyone ever called you “emotional”? As a passionate, opinionated young woman, it was definitely a word I heard often. Have you worked with someone who lets their emotions overwhelm them? The tone of their voice, the adjectives and qualifiers they use, the way they hold their body, all play into communicating that emotion to everyone around them.
All our lives, we learn through our experiences. But more than just learning, our experiences brand us sometimes with deep beliefs, call them core beliefs. Traumatic experiences and experiences we have had repeatedly often mark us the most and leave strong negative beliefs.
The infamous, ephemeral work life balance. Family. Career. Success. Personal Fulfillment. Is it really possible to “have it all”? I think so. But I also think it’s a life’s work. Work/life balance may seem impossible to maintain at certain points in life. When you get married. When your children are very small. When you just got that promotion. When you are in survival mode.
Sometimes, I set my toolbox in the back of the closet and shut the door. I don’t notice right away. I start to feel less good about myself. I start to feel lesser. Recently I realized, even after an intensive course in Coaching and a lifetime of establishing ways to feel good about myself, I had taken a break from using them.
This has been a long week. On Wednesday, I thought I just might explode. How many times a day do you feel like banging your head against the wall? Are you familiar with the tense gut and paralyzed rabbit-in-headlights feeling when your to do list has gotten longer than the hours in the day?
So with Tony’s tools, I started to define more specifically the person I wanted to be. As I strove to apply what I was learning, I was handed the opportunity of my lifetime, a continuing education opportunity on “becoming more efficient”, offered by IBM in France.
My first encounter with psychology was pre-adolescent. I was having trouble getting along with other kids. I wanted to force them to play with me. Frankly – I was ostracized the first few years of our life in North Carolina by the children my age because I was a “yankee”. Forget playing with me, they didn’t talk to me for a couple years and I’m not making this up!
A good friend of my mother’s asked me when I was 18 or 19 – what makes you happy? She said it’s the hardest question you’ll ever ask yourself and for so many years it was. So here I am now, so many years later, trying still to answer that question. A few years ago now, my good friend and colleague Kinga Parrot asked me something similar over lunch.
I am a soon to be 50 year old woman, child, wife, mother, grandmother, marketer, poet and dreamer. Lately I feel like I have rediscovered life. Is it the beautiful grandson we have now? Is it just the passing of time and learning of lessons? Is it just a passing phase? Hmmmmm.